I’m a newlywed. I was married in September of 2003. It’s been a little over a year now, and so far this marriage thing has turned out ok. After talking to other married couples, I have found that my husband is much more sensitive to the woman’s plight in life, but he had to be. He grew up the baby of six kids...all girls. And I want to applaud these ladies for bringing him up right.
But sadly, he’s still just a man and has a long way to go. Here’s why:
A friend of mine at work is getting married. Just having done it, I’ve been helping her as much as possible. I made her bouquet, went with her to pick out her dress, and she’s borrowing my shoes, my head piece, and some jewelry. She’s been having trouble finding a flower girl basket and a ring bearer’s pillow she liked, so I offered to let her use mine.
This is the part of the story where I must give you the background of my own wedding.
Kody, my new husband, and I have known each other for quite a while. We went to the same church and I have loved him since I was 10 years old. We finally started dating in September 1996 and 4 ½ years later we were engaged! That gave me 2 ½ years to plan my wedding. As I started planning, I slowly evolved into the "Wedding Nazi". I even took a job at a fledgling Bridal Shop, to get ideas for the wedding and discounts on my accessories. Because the Bridal Store had just opened and money was tight, I wasn’t always paid in cash, but in merchandise.
While walking through the store picking out my "paycheck", I saw what had to be my Ring Bearer’s Pillow. It was gorgeous. A small satin pillow encased in antique gold organza with a collection of pearls and other sparkly things in the center accented with metallic gold ribbon. Perfect! It exuded just the right amount of class and elegance. I picked up the pillow and was instantly transported to the day of our wedding. I pictured the Ring Bearer, in his little tux, marching in perfect unison with the drone of the Church organ playing "Here Comes the Bride". In his hands, perfectly level, was the pillow, atop of which rested the circular, golden symbols of mine and Kody’s undying love for each other. (This didn’t happen by the way – the ring bearer ran the complete length of the aisle dropping the pillow several times before reaching the Altar, whereupon he threw it on the ground and sat on it, but anyway...) I had to have this pillow.
Unfortunately, the rest of the collection that matched this marvelous pillow had been discontinued, so I spent the next few months traveling to obscure places in search of the elusive flower girl basket and Memory Album. Once all the pieces were found I carefully packed them into my Tub O’ Wedding Crap until the day arrived where my treasures would be unveiled for all the world to see.
Fast forward over a year later and I’m now in the process of trying to locate my wedding memorabilia. I rummage through my Tub and locate my flower girl basket and my Memory Album, taking a few moments to bask in the glory of each item. I dig deeper in the Tub and find our plane tickets from the Honeymoon, my petticoat, an invitation, hmmm...where’s my pillow? I searched through my Halloween decorations, my Christmas decorations, and some of Kody’s boxes...where’s that damn pillow? I call my sister-in-law, whose son was my ring bearer, then call my mother-in-law. Both dead ends. Almost in tears, I call my mom and my younger sister, neither one gives any inkling as to where my beloved pillow might be.
I’m lost. I don’t know where else to look.
With no other options, I sit on my couch and begin to tear up. I flash to a few years in the future, at the moment I would have grabbed my little toddler’s hand just as she reached for the little satin pillow that would be displayed on our bookshelf, and say, "No, no, precious one. That pillow is too special to play with. I’ll tell you the story another time."
I begin to weep.
I flash a few years further into the future to the time my children would look up at me and ask me about the day me and their daddy got married. Pleased that they finally asked, I would have gotten the little satin pillow off the shelf, along with the basket and pictures and we would spend the entire day reminiscing and watching the wedding video laughing, and crying.
I begin to sob.
Then I flash to the day my daughter or son would tell me they were getting married and ask me for my permission to use mine and their father’s basket, cake server, and, yes,...the little satin pillow.
I begin to wail.
At that precise moment, my husband walked into the house after spending the afternoon playing horseshoes. Noticing I’m obviously upset he rushed to my side to console me. I began to blubber about how I tried to find my beautiful little satin pillow but came up empty handed. I told him how our future family heirloom has vanished never to return and how our children will never be able to use the same pillow that held our wedding rings, the once insignificant pieces of jewelry that will now forever be worn by us showing the world our commitment to each other. (Ok, we never actually put our rings on the pillow, but that doesn’t make for a great story, now does it?)
Kody listened to me, intently, hanging on my every word, nodding in agreement, as I poured my heart out. I thought how lucky I was to have this sensitive, wonderful man who was just as worried about our little satin pillow as I was.
I finished telling him my tale of woe and hung my head in despair. We sat in silence as I waited for his words of wisdom, his plan for how we were going to get through this tragedy.
Kody, softly and tenderly, took my tear-stained face in his large, loving hands and said, "It’s just a pillow."
Ass.
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